lost

so im pretty lost . someone shud come find meeeeh . i feel like i've done all i can now i jst sit and wait . at this point its kina like wutever happens happens cus i dnt no wut else i cn do . love is a strong word and i wna use it but im afraid ppl will assume im using it jst cus of the circumstancess bt this all made meeh realize how mch i do need certain people in my life and how mch i do care . but i refuse to say it first unti i kno it'll be believed . its also amazing how i cn truly turn to someone i hvnt evn known tht long but she's a boss and i trust her . i hope things get better becus if they dont who knowss , but imma be strong and jst go with the flow . at least lulu got thursday off so oc/la here we comee . and angel comes bck friday , and armani came bck saturdayy . so at least at this super sucky timee im gna have all 6 of my mains if i need them becus i kno they caree . and i cn jst hope my lover knows i care (= well im outro cus i gta go mke money agnn so cn buy my new car .

breakdown

so i feel like im on the verge of losing something amazingg and i cudnt tell yuu why . i've nvr cared ferr anthr the way i care about him but i feel like things are changing and i DO NOT like it . im at a point in my life where i finally had my girls my fam and my babyy and it was all good bt somethings not rite and this bothers meeh . id give anything ferr any of the previously mentioned becus they are the reason im bck where i need to be . i hate the feeling i currently have and i hate waiting . evn though i was told not to wrry i cnt help but to , i mean wut if yuu felt like something yuu need in yurr life was changing . im gna be strong and go with wutevr happens but i hope wut happens is meeh and him . i cnt see lsoing any of these important people becus they mean the most to meeh . im hvng a breakdown and i cudnt evn tell yuu why except for the fact tht i hate knowing ppl are upset about somethingg . i really jst needa go sleeeep . later peeps . . .

conclusionss

the last few weeks have brought meeh to many conclusionss . i've recently discovered tht i let other people effect meeh too mch , i needa worry about MEEH and thts it . frm this point on im putting myself first alwayss cus it seems no one else ever will . i've also come to the conclusion tht if ppl are gna be mean to meeh im gna mean rite bck . im done cryingg , im stronger thn tht so the world better watch the fck out . my best fren has def helped meeh get bck to where i needed to be becus she understands meeh like no other person has or ever will . i also came to the conslusion tht i LOVE malibu and coke and tht LA is the place to be . the club scene has ben pretty fun now tht i met the WINKLES (= cus theyre friggen legit . a recent convo with my main hoe made meeh realize tht i surround myself with heartless people , and i think its because i believe tht i'll mean enough to them tht they'll be less heartless with meeh but tht has yet to happen , yet i still stick around ; who knows why except tht by the time i realize theyre not gna change im all ready to deep involved but ima strong girl i cn handle it . i do have a feeling tht my atitude is gna start chnging though and i dnt kno if the world is readyy . i've also decided tht i wna buy about 10 new pairs of shoes if not moree , i needa step my game upp (= angbakess comes bck next week and i seriously cannot wait becus ths summer is all about my skank hoess . well thts it ferr now cus i gta gt ready ferr wrrk and go mke a bank roll $$$ srry if this was hella random but i was hvn a flight of ideass (=



and thts life according to tiana <3